I was driving to school to pick up the kids one afternoon and the song came on…”The God who made the world, is not served by human hands as if He needed anything because He alone gives life and breath and everything else” Acts 17:24-25

I began to sob. I was reminded of the day He almost took my daughter’s life and breath.  I was reminded of how close He is.  I was reminded that He is the giver and the taker. I was reminded that every aspect of my life is no accident.

Isn’t it easy to lament your lot?  To assume that you are a poor, unseen, neglected soul clamouring for your most basic rights and a little reprieve from the drudgery of your every day?  It’s easier to believe that the hardships and joys are all non-ordained coincidences, so that you have some tiny hope of running your own life one day.  It’s easier to think God is a far off kind relative hoping for your best.

In the course of a year God took away almost all the earthly securites in my life. My husband’s job, our house, our church family, our kids’ health.  He took away our ability to think we were ever, for one moment, in control.

One summer morning, I was staying with family while looking for a house to rent.  I came downstairs and Vivion was coloring at the table with labored breathing. My mother-in-law noticed me noticing her and said she had woken her early. Because she was having a hard time breathing, she took her over to the hospital for Dr. Gpa to have a look and let me sleep in. He gave her benedryl and sent her home.  None of us thought too much of it.  Our family has lots of allergic reactions.

Four hours later I was holding her in my arms, begging God to heal her as she labored to breathe and went limp. I got up and put her in the car.  My mother-in- law joined me for the ride to the ER. I said through clenched steering wheel and hot tears, “He’s going to take her too.  HE’S GOING TO TAKE HER!”  “NO. HE’S NOT,” she said firmly.  But I didn’t have any reason to believe her.  I had experienced so much loss that year.  I was afraid of the next loss.

No one in the ER panicked appropriately.  But inside I was the panicking, begging, desperate mother pleading with God not to take her daughter as she hung limply over my shoulder heaving slowly, her chest retracting and catching.

Moments of absolute powerless desperation are where you discover true belief.  I found myself imploring mercy from the God who made the universe. I knew He had something to do with this.

Is God a cruel taskmaster?  A monopoly game warden? Or a very present help and refuge in your time of trouble?  At that moment my faith was shaken and I wasn’t sure.  My feelings were bereft of reason. {Psalm 46:1}

An hour later she was stable, and we were sent home with breathing treatments. That night around 9, I lay next to her in bed.  She flailed about restlessly. Vexed and breathless.  She kicked me out of frustration.  My worried heart was willing my body to stay calm.  My spirit was thankful she was still here, but I knew we weren’t in the clear.  At any moment God could take her or anything else.  I sat on the edge of a proverbial cliff where choice and chance diverged.

As I watched her struggle to rest, I asked, “Vivion what can I do for you? What do you need?”

“I need you to pray for me,” was her simple response.  She was 2 years old.

So I did. And God gave her breath back.  Fully.  Her breathing instantly returned to normal. I think it must have been the kind of “instant calm” the seamen experienced when Jonah was thrown overboard. She fell asleep. She rested. She rested in what God had done. And I sat there awake all night in relief, disbelief, and amazement.  God was in control.  My circumstances were no accident.  He alone gives life and breath and everything else.  HE doesn’t need me.  HE is not served by me.  In fact He sent His son’s hands to serve me and you on a cross.  Our labored breathing is now at a restful sigh because of Christ’s labored heaving upon the cross for our sin.  We don’t have to do anything.  WE ask and believe and our sin is forgiven.  We have no work begging our hands for salvation.  We can proclaim His goodness becuase HE most definitely works ALL things for our good and His glory.

My story could have ended quite differently.  I am so very thankful it didn’t.  But I am also thankful God cared to remind me that all my circumstances are safe because HE is working it all for my good.  He is not panicking.  He is in control.  Would you want to worship a god who wasn’t in control? {Romans 8:28}

Are you weary? Do you need God to move?  Are you doing everything you can hoping things will change?  Don’t worry, He doesn’t need you to serve Him.  He’s not far off hoping for your best.

He is intimately involved in the circumstances of your life.  He is serving you with those circumstances.

But when you come to the foot of the cross with the breath He gave you, it only makes sense to worship Him.  To worship God is to give and serve with the breath that is not your own.  Our work, dear ones, on this earth, is only to give the Gospel in all we do that others might see and know and rest in Him and His work.

Edited By Lori Chally